Continuing on my "type" series, here are a few images that make me smile. Oh and yes, that is an engagement ring. Joseph and I have worked through our separation and chose to step into a stronger and prosperous future.
"For Hearts Long Lost & Full of Fright, For Those Alone In Blackest Night, Accept Our Ring & Join Our Fight. Love Conquers All With Violet Light!"
*Shaddai
I wrote this poem sometime last week, just two days before Joseph and I agreed to go our separate ways. Towards the end of November, it became very clear that there was something in the air; enough so that many of my friends and I were experiencing the same heartbreak. I still care very deeply for him, and all though it hurts to know the feeling of being pushed away, I prefer to dwell on the feelings when we held each other close. He will continue to be my best friend, and I will continue to respect him as a person.
What is helping me most during my new journey, is the love and compassion of my friends and family. I know I'm a good person, and I enjoy giving all the love that I can give. What can I say? I like to share ;o)
So to all the Men and Women out there going through the same heartache; please accept the love, hope, and best wishes from everyone around you. Feed off of that positive energy and use it to pay it forward. We are all very valuable in this World, and I believe if we do more good than damage, we will never feel heartbreak again.
I Love You Friends and Keep the Faith Alive!
*Shaddai
2010 has been one of those difficult years for me, but even through the hardship and struggles; I'm capable to see all the things I'm grateful for.
I am grateful for my immediate family who gives me tough love, and as a result have molded me to become a better person. I am grateful to have EIGHT Families that have touched my heart and offered their grace. You guys always made an effort to welcome me into your homes, and graciously cared about me as an individual. I'm grateful to have my best friend live near me, and although we fight as sisters we love each other just the same. I'm grateful for all my friends who have kept in touch with me through out the years; it brings so much joy in my heart when we chat for hours catching up on life. I am grateful for the new friends I have met since I've lived in Dallas. Many of you I've worked with and many of you through others; I never not stopped laughing with you all. Lastly but definitely not least, I'm grateful for Joseph to have given me a chance, to accept me as I am, and for believing in me when I'm unsure of myself. I can't thank you enough for all of your love and support, you rock my world.
I Love You All, I Love You All, I Love You All! Happy Thanksgiving!
*Shaddai Berron
This my friends, is 6 hours of hard pencil labor. SIX HOURS! It is by far the longest I've ever drawn in one sitting, and the best that I've ever done... so far. However, I was not alone and I'm so happy Joseph helped me out in the development because I seriously learned a great deal of what I had been doing wrong in my past. If it had been just me alone, I would have been happy with my results in my two hour mark and called it quits. But as fate would have it, I had to date an artist... and a perfectionist at that. So I drew until he was happy and until I couldn't stand to see her face, is that wrong?
My usual stuff has been described to look like a "Sim's Character", but I never really understood what it takes to draw something real to LOOK REAL. Joseph makes it look soooooo eaaaasy! But he's right about one thing, it's all about practice.
If you want to be remotely good at anything, it's Practice, Practice, Practice. And not just ANY Practice, you actually have to not limit yourself and work on it for longer periods of time. Its a commitment that most people fear to dedicate themselves to, but if you absolutely want it, then you absolutely need to give it your All and your Time! Just like any relationship in the World, if you want your relationship in your love life, with your family, with your co-workers, friends, even yourself... If you want it to work, you have to practice the art of giving it your All and your Time.
So my friends, take the time to reflect when you gave up on anything and ask yourself if you want to be better. If so, the secret is Practice, it's as plain and simple as that.
For those of you in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, if you'd like to draw and get tips on how to better your art, come join us at the Borders in the Arlington Highlands every Sunday's at Noon-6pm, and lets create art.
Love,
*Shaddai
So for the last week, since my return from Philadelphia, I've been pushing myself to be a little more productive each and everyday. Although it may be little things to others, they're mighty steps for me that have brought me instant gratification. For example, it had been almost 3 years since I last cleaned my vehicle, inside and out. The minute I stepped in my car after driving a nice, clean rental car for 4 days, I felt an instant disgust. The filth and chaos that was happening in my car was festering inside of me, and I couldn't have it no more. Thus began my mission to do something about it, and do it RIGHT! After 2 hours of hard work, I felt a zen and satisfaction that I haven't felt in some time. I was so excited, I wanted to pickup people and have them share my happiness. It felt good to be clean, if felt good to be calm, it felt good to be proud. What's great is that it hasn't stopped there. Each day I've been updating my pictures and posting them when I can, keeping up with potential jobs, and recently Joseph & I rearranged our Office and Bedroom. For the first time, everything feels right and everything feels like home. Now, the first thought that comes to mind waking up is, "What will I do today that I would be proud of?" Let me tell you... I've been happy ever since. I leave you with a favorite quote I read in tiny buddha: "You’re not one small person waiting to create big change. You’re a powerful person wanting to create small change."
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/on-getting-started-when-you-do-not-feel-ready/
Joseph's parents wanted to surprise him with a birthday gift to Vegas. How can you not love parents like his? Here's some of the fun we got to experience.
Check out our 24hr road trip from Dallas to Philly.
I'm a very fortunate gal, surrounded by beautiful people from the inside and out. I don't think there are many people out there who can truly say that and mean it.
Normally I don't question if I myself personally am a "One of a Kind", as far as the Ideal Package of the Perfect Girl. Mainly because I find myself being able to talk to many women out there who I can relate to, whether it's one or a few things that we have in common. So it always shocks me when guys say that they want a girl who can do, or enjoy certain things. I don't think its hard to find these women that are apparently "The White Unicorn". With that said, I believe it goes both ways. The Man or Woman of every ones dream is more then likely right in front of them.
Joseph and I have known each other for roughly 5 years, but it was 2 years ago when Joseph and I first started to really talk. He'd say to me that he's just like an onion; so many layers of skin before you get to the core. We have yet to reach each others core, even as we approach our 2nd year of silliness together. Truth be told, I think our relationship is more of a series of Layers that keep being Added, much like a Growing Onion. I think what matters is that the Core stay stable and healthy, so that we can keep adding layers of skin that will protect us internally and physically be perfect to our mate.
Since we've been together, I've been able to add a few layers that I never knew I could embrace. To name a few: Photography, Zombies, Graphic Novels, Kid Robot, Horror/Slasher Movies, Rock Band, Boba Tea, Loose Leaf Tea, Star Wars Role Playing Games.... and that's just in the last year. Two years ago, I would never thought I'd be where I am today; and no words can truly describe my appreciation for life right now, especially the one I get to share with my loved ones.
You are perfect, my life is perfect, and I have God to Thank for it all.
In this past week, I've been to Mexico City, Dallas, & currently in Austin. This is my first Business trip and I've been very fortunate to be able to travel safely to all these southern corners. I miss my family at home, especially being able to wake up early in the morning in my own bed next to my Wonderful Boyfriend Joseph & our little Chihuahua Sirius. It's funny how when I was younger I always dreamed of traveling around the World, and now a little bit older, I find that my whole World is always right beside me, as wonderful as he can be.
I was too nervous to travel with my fancy camera, so these photos you see above are from my Old Point & Shoot Camera. I've been so busy working, I haven't been able to explore as much as I'd like. However, I'm hopping as things slow down a bit, I'll be able to take advantage of the beautiful city, outside of my lovely Hotel Room.
We Shall See ;o)
*Shaddai
It's not everyday you wake up to see Beautiful Flowers in Bloom to set a Great Tone for the Day. So as I acknowledged my great discovery, I felt it right to capture myself in my Natural Habitat.
Everything in this photo has a memory, a story, a reason in my life. The Table itself in my eyes is priceless. It's dated back to the 1950's, and all though it had a price tag just a week ago, it has served us in more ways than one. As our Gaming Table, Waffle Table, Arts & Crafts Table, Writing Table, Reading Table, Tea Table, & Hangout Table. Everything about this Table I Love! It brings Friends, Families, & New Acquaintances Together and it's been doing it for Over 50 Years!
My little Glass Tea Pot was a Birthday Gift from my former future mother in-law Emily. That's a story in itself ;o) I've been a Tea freak for... I'd like to say birth but it's really only been since 2002. To this day, I still have great communication with my former future family, and I'm very blessed that they love me enough to still contribute me into their family as I contribute them to mine.
I love old, vintage, and retro things. Some to which have followed me in life not knowing that it would one day be considered Vintage or Retro. Like my little McDonald's Batman Forever Mug that I use to sip my Chai in. The movie is HORRIBLE, but I dig the Mug. It's especially perfect for multiple servings so as to be "Lady Like". I actually bought this mug at a Salvation Army a few years back. I'm a sucker for cool cups, I even found a Pac-Mac Cup that I gave to my Boyfriend Joseph, it's his Everyday Cup Now.
Down there below, is also Joseph's "Green Star Wars Light Saber" Spoon. That little Plastic Cereal Spoon is Awesome! I try and use it for EVERYTHING, specifically Tea & Cereal so not quite everything.
My Pink Tank Top, Chai Tea, & iPod are for places I've been through with my Heterosexual Life Mate and Big Sister, Jalon. The Tank Top was originally hers, but after borrowing it for a Hot & Humid outing in Austin, Texas 6th Street on Her Birthday (September), I went ahead and bought her a new unsweaty one. But this Tank always remind me of her & that redicules night. Just like eveything we do together, it's always a blast and never boring even when shopping for tea for the rest of my life, or playing around & comparing eachothers Music & apps on our iPods. She's a great supporter & much more patiente than anyone gives her credit. I'm very grateful!
Lastly, Lilies... specifically these kind of Lilies; always remind me of one of my best friends & also former future sister-inlaw Victoria. Her Best Friend Rocky would always buy her these flowers for her Birthday or Just Because, and when I would visit her she'd proudly display her newly beautiful gift. To see her smile always put a smile on my face and it reminds me of how wonder Rocky was when he was alive. He was very giving and always there for her. A constant reminder that it doesn't matter how big or how small the selfless deed you do for others is, what matters is that you did it "Just Because".
*Shaddai
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